____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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