Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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