No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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