I wannas sexs uuuuu
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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