I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
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We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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