i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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