2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.