A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!