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yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
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