I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.