Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.