I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.