You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top