I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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