but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
