so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
