My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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