birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize