I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
