im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
