she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
