So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
