Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
