Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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