I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
