So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
