That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
