Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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