ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
