i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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