maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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