On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
