you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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