how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
