Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
