I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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