he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
