Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Are we still banned from the library?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize