First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
