so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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