I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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