you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
