bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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