Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
