Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
