I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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