idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
