a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize