Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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