standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
a search helicopter?!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
