Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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