did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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