so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
