Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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