so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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