oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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