My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
