I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
