Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize