We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
