Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it was like eating out sand paper
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
