she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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