Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
