I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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