You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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