I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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