we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
